Osaka

'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. - Anon - Quote inside T-bag wrapper.

Almost time to say goodbye to Osaka.

We decided to leave Osaka a little earlier than planned, but before that we went in search of a bike rental scheme. Not quite as straightforward or as cheap as in Taiwan and certainly not as flexible. 

Besides the metro, cycling is a popular form of transport for all age groups and here in Osaka I saw something different on the bikes, an umbrella and glove attachments. Not just for rain, but more so for sun. The women fear getting sun spots on their faces and hands so they shield themselves from the rays.

Our neighbourhood has a wide age spectrum, but we have noticed a large ageing population over here. Apparently 20% of Japan’s population are over 70 years old. The men work well into old age, performing what we would consider menial or unnecessary tasks. The older women don’t appear to work. 

On our city bikes, we zigzagged through suburbia to the port entrance. It’s still so clean and unnaturally quiet - You don’t see anyone, hear any birds or see any wildlife. Japanese gardens are not grown to keep wildlife happy, they are grown for ornamental purposes. The parks and planted areas are manicured and beautifully maintained.  

As you leave the city there’s a mixture of housing stock - detached houses, inter-dispersed with intense high-rises and streets upon streets that are deserted.

The houses are all detached - with no minimum distance between them which get a little wider the further out of town you go. The value of a house depreciates as soon as its purchased and is usually pulled down within 20 years. Town planning isn’t great and despite its extreme cleanliness,  its untidy with wiring overhead and lamp posts blocking pavements. The houses vary from old and ornate to minimal functional urban - They use a range of materials, wood, glass bricks and slowly rusting corrugated steel - the only rust we have seen in Osaka.  When they do use colour on their buildings it gives the area a welcome injection of life. I just wish there was more in the cities to break up the drabness, other than garish advertising. 

The houses are not made to last which is pretty wasteful and because they are detached, albeit by only a couple of inches, it is very easy to pull down a house and quickly put up another without affecting the neighbours. 

Railway lines and motorways layered above us as we followed the river round.

Over a bridge and then suddenly we were hit with an almighty blast of colour. Not subtle, but totally in your face, Gaudi meets Mondrian with a bit of added bling. This was Maishima. 

Often mistaken for being part of the nearby Universal Studios this is in fact The Maishima Incineration Plant and Sludge Center. It really packs a punch. The Incineration Plant receives around 12,000 visitors by accident every year, making it somewhat of an unlikely mini tourist attraction on its own.

Designed by late Austrian artist Friedensreich Hundertwasser  following the government’s request for the incinerator to represent the ‘fusion of technology, environment and art’.


You see school uniforms everywhere after 3.30 and at the weekends. The children have the same school days as the UK, but are at school for roughly 250 days of the year. They have a strict uniform code. They are trying to make Saturday school mandatory again. In the week the children attend clubs after school, followed by Cram Class for 2 hours. Then they have homework to do. 

The students often have school trips at weekends and holidays on which they have to wear their uniforms. Teachers work on average a 56+ hour per week The government has now capped their overtime, but it has been reported that some teachers don’t clock in their extra hours sometimes doing as much as 100 a month - without pay, not wishing to admit they are going over the regulated overtime. They have a teacher’s union but I question why they dont fight back

Playground.

By way of a complete contrast to the empty outskirts we popped back to downtown Shinsekai.

In 1912 Shinsekai was opened as an entertainment district and originally modelled the southern end on Coney Island, New York and the north on Paris.

Shinsekai translates as ‘New World’ and because of its then modern image and Lunar theme park the area quickly gained popularity. Now, its tired and neglected. I was hoping to see the remains of  the deserted amusement park, but it’s all disappeared. In the centre, however, stands a tower ‘leading to heaven’. The gorgeous 1950s Tsutenkaku Tower – even though it’s short by todays standards, Tsutenkaku still stands out. At night it’s all lit up and by day it looks like a scene in Thunderbirds. The colours of the lights change with the seasons. The tower is so loved by the community that the area immediately around it has remained low level albeit crammed with fast food restaurants and souvenir shops giving a nod to the heyday of Coney Island.

Japan’s very own Eiffel Tower.

Pachinko parlours are everywhere through out the city, squeezed into any space or housed in a dedicated brightly coloured high-rise.

Shinsekai Locals

When you go up the tower you are reminded how the cities from Kobe to Kyoto now merge into one huge conurbation with Osaka in the middle.

Randomly, when you exit the tower, there is a Pocky Museum which you have to go through featuring a tower made of chocolate biscuits. Followed by the obligatory corridor of Gashapons the toy-vending machines.

Time to go home to pack. We’re off to Kyoto.





'It's a wild leather heaven'. - Google translate Japanese food menu

Good evening Japan.

So we landed in Japan and  had a couple of days in Tokyo which were a blur, and not a great beginning as now appears customary for our initial entry to a country. 

Late at night our miserable taxi driver literally dumped us on the freeway because he couldn’t find our Ryokan. Thank goodness for the wifi router that was delivered to us at the airport - perfect efficiency -  together with google maps, we eventually found our place over the freeway, hidden in a maze of backstreets. Our Ryokan was a matchbox of heavenly bliss, ruined only by us and our luggage. Westerners were not designed for spaces like this.

Our first impressions of Tokyo are not wholly great, somewhat uncomfortable to be honest, but we are returning here for longer at the end so our opinions may very well change.

Travelling down to Osaka on the bullet train was quite an event - so many jobs, all requiring a uniform. Meet the team…

Captain and Co-pilots

Flight Hostesses

Flight Attendents

Flight Cleaners. 8 minutes per 120 seated carriage and its like new

You never travel facing backwards on a bullet train. Each seat is swivelled round after the carriage is cleaned.

Flight Cleaning Team

Back to base.

Three hours, 552km later… Welcome to Osaka.

Gone are the incredible colours, rich light and the unexpectedness of India. Gone is the warmth and friendliness  of Taiwan.  Osaka is silent, slow, clinical and predictable.

Umeda, is a white backdrop with a few shades of grey through to stark black of business suits a plenty. This is Osaka’s business hub, similar to the city of London. Its cold and bland.

Namba,  is a huge entertainment centre and caters for everyone from youth ‘Amerikamaro’ sub culture to the seriously mega-wealthy shoppers and a few tourist spots thrown in for good measure. It has giant shops, malls and high-rises housing intimate bars and restaurants each for about 6 people.

Boy-band Mania. Album release concert. The girls take the dolls into the concert.

Shopping, betting, gambling and slot machines are amongst Japans biggest leisure activity and like Tokyo, Osaka is no different. Huge sky-rises and malls are filled with multiple floors of casinos and slot machines. This is where the noise is, the sound of bubblegum music  and money being thrust relentlessly into the machines.

Poor lady is mortified that the claw dropped her toy.

Maid bars and Cosplay shops are in abundance highlighting a culture I don’t really understand. 

The maids are all very young women working in bars and the cosplayers are teenagers dressing up as ‘fictional characters’ and victorian dolls. In some cases these can be very extreme. Its a ‘look and don’t touch’ experience for males. 

Young maid give out bar leaflets late at night.

Many of the images  and sounds surrounding us are what we would associate with our own childhood that appear to carry on into adult life here, which is peculiar and takes time to get accustomed to. The Magic Roundabout tune, for example, informs you its rubbish collection time.

Osaka’s city starkness and sanitised structures are punctuated with colour,in the form of uniforms for multiple jobs, manicured trees and drinks machines - found on every single street.

Park Toilets

Traffic director

Each school has a different coloured hat.

The entertainment areas of Namba are about gigantic high-rise neon lights and giant mechanised signs, fairy lights and paper lanterns, many bleached out by fluorescent lighting. Its harsh, brash and dripping in wealth. 

Taxi Driver in Namba

The Glico running man is one of the most well known landmarks in Osaka. This huge brightly lit sign has glowed over the Dotombori canal in Osaka's premier shopping and entertainment district for more than 80 years. The running man advertises Glico, the manufacturer of one of Asia's most famous confectionery companies.

Canal water deforming Glico’s man

Japan’s cleanliness is like nothing I have ever seen. No car is marked, dirty or noisy. No dog messes in a public space. No rubbish, no eating in public spaces.

Chewing gum marks are removed from the pavement.

No-one speaks, there is human silence everywhere, except that is until 10.00pm when the soulful karaoke begins.

Home time.